Porn is love you can see.
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Randomize