I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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