So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
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