You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
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