A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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