dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
