Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
