dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
