We're like a lot better than the average bears
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
