I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
He passed out mid-signature
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize