Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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