There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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