Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
