before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
