So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
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