The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
