I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
My feet surprised me
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
