Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
