i always forget guys have bellybuttons
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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