Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Randomize
