when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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