Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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