dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize