nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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