I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
