oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
