I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i think my mom watched the whole time
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
