Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize