There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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