i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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