Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
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