Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
