lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
