Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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