shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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