i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
