I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
