idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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