and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
