We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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