ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
