Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize