apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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