Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
