Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
