life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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