i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
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