He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
