He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Randomize
