....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
