I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
