We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
