that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
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