He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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