I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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