it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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