so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
