I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
it's great music for shaving your balls
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
