dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Is it because I queefed?
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize