Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
