Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
