Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
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