So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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