its not stalking. its research.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
