Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Are we still banned from the library?
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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