Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
