look no pants
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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