How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
