Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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