Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize