But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
