My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
