Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
birth control should be required to get into college
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
