the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
